Parental love is often the means by which children actually open themselves to God's love and come to understand it early in life. That's why from the time our children are born, we should pray, "God help me to really love my child the way You want me to and teach me how to show it in a way he/she can understand." (Power of a Praying Parent, Stormie Omartian)
The wonderful article on Parents and Children in the Full Life Study Bible says, "In bringing up their children, parents should show no favoritism, encourage as well as correct, punish only intentional wrongdoing, and dedicate their lives in love to their children with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Colossians 3:12-14, 21)." Whew, that sounds like A LOT!!! The truth of the matter is, any parent who is honest will tell you; sometimes parenting is down right HARD! At the same time, we have to remember it is a privilege and honor to be entrusted with the lives of His seed.
If you have more than one child, you've probably encountered the favoritism issue, either from the children or in your mind. I don't want to get into whether or not favoritism actually happens...what I believe, is that the "perception" of favoritism is more so the issue and often perception is reality! Being able to encourage as well as correct is something that must be a conscious effort. If the only thing your child(ren) hears from you is that he/she has done something wrong, sooner or later, that's all he/she will believe is the extent of their capabilities. Only punishing intentional wrongdoing...on this, I'll admit shortcoming. Sometimes the frustration of parenting and why my son or daughter just can't 'get it', becomes too much and rather than deal with with the issue...I'd rather issue a reprimand and hope he/she learns the lesson. <REVELATION> What if God did the same to me? Time to rethink what and how we punish! Dedicating our lives to loving our children with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience is accomplished through living by the Spirit.
What a treasure to have the blueprint on parenting in God's word! We know that we can look to God as the model of what a parent should and should not do, as well as, what a parent should and should not be. Just as God loves us all in a special way; let us too love our children in a way that will be embraced by them. To the child that is musically inclined, maybe we sing together...even if it's off key. To the child with athletic ability, maybe we can develop 'stat' cards highlighting their accomplishments. For the child who excels in school, maybe a collage of report cards, tests, and certificates. We have to get out of the mindset that telling our children we love them is enough...sometimes we need to let them see it. Love is what it does! Help us to meet our children at their point of need, especially when their primary need from us is love. In Jesus name, Amen!
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